Were you the one in your family who always got into trouble about the things you felt like doing even if you knew it could bring you into trouble? Willing to take the risk of being punished instead of not doing it? Maybe you rebelled against the things that according to your parents you "should" have done. Or, you might know a person who is like this.
What is our first response when someone does something that according to us is "wrong"? We get upset with them and tell them "don't, you are wrong!" What do they do? Get angry at us. Most of the times they end up doing it anyway. Why?
They are strong-willed.Explorers. Did you know that a lot of the strong-willed people in life have the potential to reach great heights? The same will that makes them act out at times is what drives them to become their best.
So, what should we do then? Let them do as they please? Just leave them be? Not let them take responsibility for what they've done?
None of the above. Just approach them differently. When you talk to them act out of love and not anger. Rather find out why they did it instead of just telling them that they were wrong and are not allowed to do it. Then, when you have calmed down talk to him about how you feel and why.
The best thing you can do when you feel you are at the end of your rope is to pray and ask God to bless that person.
Easy for me to say right? I don't have kids. Only thing is, this does not apply to kids only. It involves anyone who crosses your path. Family, a friend, co-worker or people in different walks of life.
Believe me it works. Of course it is an on-going process and doesn't just fix things overnight. You might have to do it over and over again, for a long period of time. God always answers our prayers.
Sunday 19 February 2012
Because you are worth it!
Friday on my way to a friend’s house I saw a billboard saying "love yourself because you are worth it". To the ladies it might sound very familiar. It is aLoreal advertisement J.
Do we really love ourselves? Why is it necessary?
It is vital before we can even begin to understand how to love other people. God believes that. One of the things He commands us to do is "love your neighbour as you love yourself".
The phrase "......... starts at home" is used in various contexts. We can apply it here as well. To love others you have to start loving yourself. Begin at home.
Sure we don't always like everything about ourselves. If it is something you can change, then do it. If not then start the process of accepting it.
We might think we are not perfect but God made each of us exactly the way He wanted us to be.
Do we really love ourselves? Why is it necessary?
It is vital before we can even begin to understand how to love other people. God believes that. One of the things He commands us to do is "love your neighbour as you love yourself".
The phrase "......... starts at home" is used in various contexts. We can apply it here as well. To love others you have to start loving yourself. Begin at home.
Sure we don't always like everything about ourselves. If it is something you can change, then do it. If not then start the process of accepting it.
We might think we are not perfect but God made each of us exactly the way He wanted us to be.
The Roundabout Way
We have so many destinations in life. God has it all mapped out for us. He has so many things He wants us to achieve.
We don't get a copy of the map to see where He is taking us. Or a gps to tell us to turn left here or right there.
Sometimes when we reach one of the destinations we think "why on earth was it necessary to take such a long and winding road? It could have been so much easier, quicker".
God has a way of preparing us for what we need to do in His kingdom. Moulding and shaping us into the best we can be.Little by little.
And no, He doesn't always take the easy routes.
Sometimes it seems like a roundabout way but He knows what He is doing. Al we need to do is trust Him.
We don't get a copy of the map to see where He is taking us. Or a gps to tell us to turn left here or right there.
Sometimes when we reach one of the destinations we think "why on earth was it necessary to take such a long and winding road? It could have been so much easier, quicker".
God has a way of preparing us for what we need to do in His kingdom. Moulding and shaping us into the best we can be.Little by little.
And no, He doesn't always take the easy routes.
Sometimes it seems like a roundabout way but He knows what He is doing. Al we need to do is trust Him.
Loosing The People You Love
Losing someone you love is never easy. Most of the time it is out of your control doesn't matter how the loss came about.
What do we do when this happens? How do we cope with it? How do we let go?
There is no easy answer to any of the above questions. Everybody deals with loss in their own way. Have their own coping mechanisms.
One of the best things you could do is to work through the process of accepting the loss. It doesn't mean the pain is going to just magically disappear but there is definitely truth in the saying" time heals all wounds".
God never shuts a door to one of His children unless He plans on opening a window to something better.
What do we do when this happens? How do we cope with it? How do we let go?
There is no easy answer to any of the above questions. Everybody deals with loss in their own way. Have their own coping mechanisms.
One of the best things you could do is to work through the process of accepting the loss. It doesn't mean the pain is going to just magically disappear but there is definitely truth in the saying" time heals all wounds".
God never shuts a door to one of His children unless He plans on opening a window to something better.
Influence - To What Extent?
When we are children our parents basically gets to decide what we should do and how we should live. A lot of the time under protest of course.
When does it become time for us to decide how we should live our lives? What our futures should be like. Which goals we or other people set out for us to reach to go for and which ones to let go off?
I think a good time would be when you have to start living with the outcome of whatever decision you have to make. Especially if it is something that you have to live with on a long term basis. If you get two job offers and you need to decide which one to accept, who gets to decide? You do. You have to work there every day. No one else lives with the consequences of your decisions except yourself.
There are some circumstances that we do not have control over but if there is one thing I have learned over time then it is that ultimately each one of us end up living our lives ourselves. So, be very careful what you let people around you decide on your behalf.
Like William Shakespeare said: “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”
When does it become time for us to decide how we should live our lives? What our futures should be like. Which goals we or other people set out for us to reach to go for and which ones to let go off?
I think a good time would be when you have to start living with the outcome of whatever decision you have to make. Especially if it is something that you have to live with on a long term basis. If you get two job offers and you need to decide which one to accept, who gets to decide? You do. You have to work there every day. No one else lives with the consequences of your decisions except yourself.
There are some circumstances that we do not have control over but if there is one thing I have learned over time then it is that ultimately each one of us end up living our lives ourselves. So, be very careful what you let people around you decide on your behalf.
Like William Shakespeare said: “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”
Who's Responsibility Is It?
Today’s “random thought” is a little lengthy. Those words got wingsagainJ. Don’t really want to clip them when the words flow. So rather put it aside when you have a bit more time.
Over the last couple of weeks the subject on responsibility and what it entails popped up during a lot of conversations. It made me think about it in more detail and I decided to share some thoughts around it.
So many times we all have our own perception of what a specific word means. To avoid confusion on this one (although we all know what it means) I went to look up the definition via google.
Definition responsibility:
· The state or fact of having a duty to deal with something.
· The state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something.
Why are we taught to take on responsibility ourselves? We are all responsible for things happening in our lives. No one else can take on the responsibility of making decisions on our behalf as they do not end up living with the consequences after the fact. We can ask for advice but ultimately we have to face the music.
When are we supposed to start taking on responsibility in our lives?
It all depends on what the responsibility is. Let’s use kids for example. We give them chores as they mature. After leaving school and starting work parents might let them pay for their own cars or even rent. It is a good thing as they eventually have to stand on their own two feet. But we shouldn’t let them take on too much too soon. Kids don’t get to be kids anymore like we used to be some time back (not going to give too much detail here and give away theage J). If we look at teenage suicides these days then we might want to reconsider how much pressure we let them take on. Not all kids are the same so this is where discernment comes in. I am not a parent myself but remember we were all kids once and can therefor speak from experience. Even now I still need advice from my mom sometimes, so parents the fact that you need to relieve some of the stress placed on your kids never changes and they need to know that you will always be there, no matter what.
Should we take on other people’s responsibilities?
This question is not always easy to answer. Especially after making the above statement of always being there. There are however things that people need to deal with themselves. For them to be independent. They need to be accountable for their actions. Remember the Chinese proverb “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” This is now where discernment comes in. We sometimes know when we need to intervene and help someone in need, but there are also times when people need to sort things out themselves. How else are they supposed to learn?
Who am I responsible for in life?
We must always remember that our first responsibility in life is towards ourselves. If we don’t learn to prioritise and sort out our own things then how are we supposed to be capable of helping other people? Don’t try to carry other people’s burdens, take on a load that is too heavy and in the process prevent yourself from carrying your own.
Figure out what your responsibilities in life are and tackle them head on. Only then can you decide what other responsibilities you might have to help people with.
Over the last couple of weeks the subject on responsibility and what it entails popped up during a lot of conversations. It made me think about it in more detail and I decided to share some thoughts around it.
So many times we all have our own perception of what a specific word means. To avoid confusion on this one (although we all know what it means) I went to look up the definition via google.
Definition responsibility:
· The state or fact of having a duty to deal with something.
· The state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something.
Why are we taught to take on responsibility ourselves? We are all responsible for things happening in our lives. No one else can take on the responsibility of making decisions on our behalf as they do not end up living with the consequences after the fact. We can ask for advice but ultimately we have to face the music.
When are we supposed to start taking on responsibility in our lives?
It all depends on what the responsibility is. Let’s use kids for example. We give them chores as they mature. After leaving school and starting work parents might let them pay for their own cars or even rent. It is a good thing as they eventually have to stand on their own two feet. But we shouldn’t let them take on too much too soon. Kids don’t get to be kids anymore like we used to be some time back (not going to give too much detail here and give away theage J). If we look at teenage suicides these days then we might want to reconsider how much pressure we let them take on. Not all kids are the same so this is where discernment comes in. I am not a parent myself but remember we were all kids once and can therefor speak from experience. Even now I still need advice from my mom sometimes, so parents the fact that you need to relieve some of the stress placed on your kids never changes and they need to know that you will always be there, no matter what.
Should we take on other people’s responsibilities?
This question is not always easy to answer. Especially after making the above statement of always being there. There are however things that people need to deal with themselves. For them to be independent. They need to be accountable for their actions. Remember the Chinese proverb “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” This is now where discernment comes in. We sometimes know when we need to intervene and help someone in need, but there are also times when people need to sort things out themselves. How else are they supposed to learn?
Who am I responsible for in life?
We must always remember that our first responsibility in life is towards ourselves. If we don’t learn to prioritise and sort out our own things then how are we supposed to be capable of helping other people? Don’t try to carry other people’s burdens, take on a load that is too heavy and in the process prevent yourself from carrying your own.
Figure out what your responsibilities in life are and tackle them head on. Only then can you decide what other responsibilities you might have to help people with.
Diamonds In The Rough
This morning I listened to a song that said we are God’s diamonds. That we are beautiful and precious. A diamond is so lovely (don’t you agree ladies). But how does it get that way? Through a tough process of shaping and cutting.
Wouldn’t it be nice if life could just be simple? If everything could just work out the way we want it to? Like the Afrikaans saying goes “maanskyn en rose”. Can’t we all just be ready shaped diamonds from the word go? It doesn’t quite work that way now does it?
How will we be shaped into what we are and should be without the trials, the “rough” times? God never wants bad things to happen to us. He has planned so many amazing things for our futures. Like Jeremiah 29:11 reads - For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
We all go through bad times like these and no one person’s troubles are greater than the others’. We all just experience things in different ways and need to work through it in which-ever manner works best for us.
Right now you might feel like a diamond in the rough but rest assured knowing that God has so much in store for us. Just take it one day at a time, step by step. You will get there. A precious diamond.
Wouldn’t it be nice if life could just be simple? If everything could just work out the way we want it to? Like the Afrikaans saying goes “maanskyn en rose”. Can’t we all just be ready shaped diamonds from the word go? It doesn’t quite work that way now does it?
How will we be shaped into what we are and should be without the trials, the “rough” times? God never wants bad things to happen to us. He has planned so many amazing things for our futures. Like Jeremiah 29:11 reads - For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
We all go through bad times like these and no one person’s troubles are greater than the others’. We all just experience things in different ways and need to work through it in which-ever manner works best for us.
Right now you might feel like a diamond in the rough but rest assured knowing that God has so much in store for us. Just take it one day at a time, step by step. You will get there. A precious diamond.
According To Who's Standards?
Last week a group of us listed some of the general things in life that we need prayer for. One of the things I listed was “control issues”. There was a lot of laughter after this request, but I felt it was important. We all have this issue right? . Mine just tends to complicate my life unnecessarily.
A couple of days later someone asked me how it was going with the “issue”. I said that it is still a work in progress but think it is going quite well. He asked according towho’s standards? Ha ha! Interesting question.
Someone I know was going through a tough time and didn’t feel that things were going to get better. Don’t we all feel like that sometimes? It is then that we must remember things will be ok even if it doesn’t seem like it at the moment. How can we know this? The question made me think about the above statement. According to our own standards or ideas of what ok means we have no assurance that things will actually turn out the way we want them to. But according to God’s idea of what should happen in our lives, things will always turn out for the best. Will it be the easiest way? We don’t know the answer to that. Will it be the best way? Most definitely!! Rest assured knowing that God is in control.
He always wants to bless us and want what is best for us. After all we are His children and He loves us!!!
A couple of days later someone asked me how it was going with the “issue”. I said that it is still a work in progress but think it is going quite well. He asked according towho’s standards? Ha ha! Interesting question.
Someone I know was going through a tough time and didn’t feel that things were going to get better. Don’t we all feel like that sometimes? It is then that we must remember things will be ok even if it doesn’t seem like it at the moment. How can we know this? The question made me think about the above statement. According to our own standards or ideas of what ok means we have no assurance that things will actually turn out the way we want them to. But according to God’s idea of what should happen in our lives, things will always turn out for the best. Will it be the easiest way? We don’t know the answer to that. Will it be the best way? Most definitely!! Rest assured knowing that God is in control.
He always wants to bless us and want what is best for us. After all we are His children and He loves us!!!
Inner Peace
Inner peace is an integral part of our daily lives.
Have you ever experienced a feeling of uneasiness or irritation and don’t really know why? Or maybe you do know why. Getting that “gut” feeling (or like the ladies sometimes call it a sixth sense), is the Holy Spirit making you aware that something is not ok.
What if we have no idea what is causing it? Like a friend reminded me the other the day, the best suggestion would be to removeyourself from that situation if possible. That is where discernment comes in. Sometimes the solution might be as easy as just getting out of that “presence” that you feel. If you do know the reason why you are feeling like this don’t let it get a grip on you that will make it very difficult to let go off, sort it out as soon as possible.
Living life with a constant feeling of unsettledness is not pleasant, healthy or enriching. If something in life doesn’t allow you to grow as a person or spiritually then it is not from God and definitely not good for you.
Wish all of you peace and tons of love, hugs and kisses to fill your weekend
Have you ever experienced a feeling of uneasiness or irritation and don’t really know why? Or maybe you do know why. Getting that “gut” feeling (or like the ladies sometimes call it a sixth sense), is the Holy Spirit making you aware that something is not ok.
What if we have no idea what is causing it? Like a friend reminded me the other the day, the best suggestion would be to removeyourself from that situation if possible. That is where discernment comes in. Sometimes the solution might be as easy as just getting out of that “presence” that you feel. If you do know the reason why you are feeling like this don’t let it get a grip on you that will make it very difficult to let go off, sort it out as soon as possible.
Living life with a constant feeling of unsettledness is not pleasant, healthy or enriching. If something in life doesn’t allow you to grow as a person or spiritually then it is not from God and definitely not good for you.
Wish all of you peace and tons of love, hugs and kisses to fill your weekend
The Noise Of Busyness
In the time that we said aside for God, we talk to Him. But most importantly we should be listening to Him.
Ever tried talking to someone when they are preoccupied with something else while they are supposed to be listening to what you are trying to say to them? Sure they might HEAR you talking but are they really listening? Very frustrating right? What is the distraction? Noise?
Jesus repeatedly warned against any time when people are unaware to the danger of going about life without stopping long enough to listen to God.
Life is hectic, busy and sometimes just plain messy. In between all of this we not only need to, buthave to find time to be with God. Just sit and listen to what our Father has to say. The responsibility rests on our shoulders, no one else’s.
Each one of us are different and will feel God's presence in different places and different ways. Make sure to listen to that.
Noah was a man who took the time to listen to what God had to say through all the disarray around him. He also followed where God lead him.
There is something I read in one of Stormie Omartian’s books titled, The Power of Prayer Through the Bible. “The picture that develops out of the phrase "walked with God" reveals a person who depended on God's faithfulness across the decades, through times of doubt, against the corruption that surrounded him”. We can only walk with God if we seek His presence. The only way we can ask Him: “Help me to hearYour voice speaking to my heart so that I will always follow Your leading”. And the only way to hear His voice is to become still.
Make it a priority in your life to find out where God wants you to feel His presence in a sense that fills you with His peace, love and comfort. Don't lose sight of God in hectic world we live in today.
Tuesday 31 January 2012
Who Do You See
There are certain people in life that you don't really get the option of spending time with. They are a part of your daily life irrespective of whether you choose them to be or not. It could be co-workers, friends of friends, family and so forth.
Then there are those people that you let into your life out of free will. Why do you choose them? What makes them different than the rest of the world out there?
The question I ask myself when I look at them is: "Who do I see?" Can I grow with the person? Spiritually and as a person. Do they break me down or build me up? Make me feel better about myself? Do I feel at home? Do I really WANT to spend time with them or just feel obliged out of courtesy. Do I see myself in them?
If my answer to the above questions are no, then I don’t see the point of becoming friends with them. Of letting them into my life, close to my heart. They can be acquaintances if need be or when necessary but we don’t have to be best friends with everybody we know. Our time in life is very limited and valuable. Why not spend it with the people you want?
Next time you really want to invest in friendship why not ask yourself “who do I see when I look at them”?
Your Life Raft
What do we do when we are troubled in life? When it feels like things are not going in the direction we feel they should be going in? Down instead of up or as the saying goes, south instead of north.
If we are being honest about this now then I will have to admit that the first thing I do is definitely not being all positive about it. Sure we know that God lets’ all things work out for good for those who believe and trust in Him. But what if we choose to do our own thing and somehow manage to mess things up? I suppose we don’t always have a clear answer to all of these things.
In times like these it helps to talk about it, get it off your chest. Talk to a friend, a family member. A while back I told someone that just having someone there who lets you talk about how you feel, really listens, gives you a hug and tell you everything is going to be ok is a life raft. Even if you don’t know at that point if things are going to be ok according to what you want them to turn out to be. It might be a temporary life raft but it does make a difference. Isn’t that what we are here for? To be there for other people when they need us?
But what if you truly feel alone in all of this? Like there is no one else that understands how you feel. Really knows what you are going through. Then what are we supposed to do? Just let it go and hope for the best? Easier said than done. One of the things I believe that helps is being honest about how you feel and facing those feelings. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to do something about it and you know what it is, then do it. If you don’t know then the best thing is to pray. Ask God to help you. Help you deal with whatever it is you are going through. Tell Him what you feel and think. You don’t have to hold back here. He will listen to anything and everything you have to say. Ask Him to help you with what it is that you need to work out, decide about. He won’t forsake us if we need His help and ask for it. He is the one constant thing in life that we can always count on.
Hang in there when the going gets tough, even if you don’t feel like it!!!!! Though you might not feel ok right now, know that you will always be ok in time.
Just Enough
I wrote this thought on Monday and wanted to send it out yesterday but never got round to do the finishing touches. Things got a bit hectic here at work. Since I have quite a few drafts I thought I would send this one out today as well.
How do we live from day to day? Happy times are easy to get through, but what about those tough days? The days when you just need that extra bit of patience, faith, hope and so many more, to get by?
I believe that we are all provided with as much of all of this as we need for that specific moment. Just enough to live from day to day. To handle one thing at a time. Thinking too far ahead might just get us all worked up andworried J. Doubting whether we will we be able to handle it. I don’t mean don’t plan ahead, just don’t worry too much about those things that are planned!!! Especially the things we don’t have any control over.
I remember talking to a friend the other day about a scripture in 1 Corinthians 13: “and now faith, hope and love remains and the most important of these is love”. Then I asked her which one is the most important. Of course she replied “love”. No, I said, faith, hope and love. That was what I needed to believe at that precise moment. Whatever is essential to each one of us there and then, God will provide.
So, why don’t we try not to worry too much about whether things will turn out for the better? Hold on and give the control over to God, even it is very difficult sometimes. It is when we try to be in charge of things that they turn out to be very messy.
Brace Or Embrace
Simply have to share something before I carry on with the actual thought I want to share. Earlier this week I sent out and e-mail titled “Taking Risks”. Then an hour or so later the above mentioned thought popped into my mind. Well let me put it this way, I have had the heading for a while but didn’t know what to write about it. Then on that morning the words just started flowing. When the words get wings I simply have to let them fly! It was only after a few paragraphs that I realised that the two thoughts were exactly the opposite!!!! One saying, take a risk the other one should I brace myself? Had such a laugh about it, immediately stopped writing and carried on with something else. Just goes to show how our thoughts jump around from one thing to another, depending on how we feel at that moment. To the men out there, I am sure changing your mind from time to time is not just a womanthing J.
It is amazing how grammar can give two words that are almost identical, adding or removing one or two letters, a totally different meaning.
How do we know in life when to embrace something or brace yourself and hold back a bit?
Had to really think about this one for a bit on Monday morning. After some recent events I now understand it much better. On Monday I wouldn’t have been able to really say how experience led me to writing about the above subject. Isn’t it interesting to realize when you go through things how it changes your perspective completely? How you can actually relate to it? Understand it a lot better.
I do know that it is something that each one of us should be asking ourselves. It is not a question that anyone can give you the answer to or decide on your behalf. There are certain things in life that we have to figure out ourselves. Take some time to sit back and get perspective on it. This is, as I have mentioned numerous times before, where discernment comes in. There are definitely times when we “feel” we “want” to do something but we “know” that we “have” to go in the opposite direction.
A friend once explained it to me this way. The example of Abraham was used. God asked him to sacrifice his sonIsac. While walking up the mountain he asked God time and time againif it was the right thing to do and when God kept on saying yes, even though it was an extremely difficult thing for him to do, knowing that he will suffer a GREAT loss, he still obeyed God. Just when he was ready to sacrifice his son, God provided a way out!!!!
God knows what is in our hearts. If we stay loyal when He tells us to go in a specific direction (even if we feel that it might be at a tremendous loss on our side and we are scared) He will stay true to His word. He will ALWAYS step in at the right time. Do what is best for us. It sure takes a whole lot of faith when this happens. Psalm 25:21 Let integrity and uprightness preserve me; for I wait on thee.
Don’t underestimate the power of faith and loyalty.
Today I would just like to wish all of you strength to always step into faith when things really get tough and you are not sure which direction to go in. Ask God and trust that the answer He gives you is the right one.
Am I chosen?
To the person being chosen it means life.
The one who loves flies, runs, and is glad, he is free and not bound. He gives all for all, because he rests in one who is supreme above all things, from whom every good thing flows and goes forth. Thomas A Kempis.
In today’s world being chosen means that someone else had to be rejected. Look at beauty pageants, sport teams, competitions. One person's loss is someone else's gain.
Doesn't it feel great if someone loves you? Chooses you for who you are? Not because you HAD to be randomly picked out of a crowd. Not because of your looks, the fact that you might be of benefit to them or they need you for whatever reason. Simply because you are unique. Special.
I read the following phrase somewhere once "Don't make someone your priority simply because you are their decision". It is so true. Don't be someone's second best because you might feel you are not good enough to be chosen. Afraid of ending up alone.
We are all "chosen ones" in God's eyes and we are loved and accepted by the special people in our lives who cares about us
Time Spent
How do you spend your time?
This holiday was going to be all about resting up after the hectic 2011 right? Weren’t we all totally exhausted at the end of the year? Wanting and needing that well deserved break?
Instead most of us worked on projects at home, doing the things we never get to do during the year. Some of us went away on holiday and got to relax but still had a pretty “busy” time while doing the things we enjoy.
Must admit this holiday season I’ve had a better time than I have had in years!! Definitely not “resting” up in the sense of sleeping much and doing nothing, but is was SO much FUN. Like my mom have mentioned to me so many times: “We don’t need as much sleep as we think we do, we need to live life”. And boy did I live!!! Like someone recently brought to my attention me: “you will get used to it” (that is not having a lot of sleep).
It doesn’t matter where you spent your time or what you did, it is who you spent it with that is the most important thing and whether you had loads of fun doing it.
May you all have a blessed 2012 and get to spent it with all the people you love and that matters in your life!!!
Remember to live life to the fullest.
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